When it comes to dating and relationships, most women want to fall in love with a man who makes them feel safe.
We’re not damsels in distress, we want to feel valued both physically and emotionally. “Salvation” itself is not necessary. But knowing that choices exist and that the man we love – our boyfriend, husband, or life partner – is willing to do what is asked of us if the need arises to protect us. It’s great to leave it there.
According to the hierarchy outlined in Maslow’s “Human Motivation Theory” Safety is the second of the six basic human needs.
But while we think of security as something women want and expect in romantic relationships with men, we often forget that it’s the other side of the same coin.
If a woman wants to know how to make a man fall in love with her, she needs to start by making him feel emotionally safe with her.
Men want and need to feel safe with the women they love, and they won’t and shouldn’t commit to a woman they don’t feel safe with.
It’s not that they’re looking for someone to save them, it’s how the woman makes them feel. It’s about psychological safety.
It basically takes three simple little things to make a man feel emotionally safe and fall in love with you, but many women don’t realize what they are.
Here are three things you must do to make a man feel emotionally safe with you.
1. Show him trust and respect.
The easiest way to create emotional safety in any relationship is to show that you trust your partner and respect their needs.
Trust and respect must always go both ways. If he has some close girlfriends that he likes to talk to and hang out with, let him know that you trust him and his judgment, and at the same time let him know that you are Show that you can be trusted.
Too many men and women use jealousy to manipulate their partners, flirting with others for attention or starting fights that could end if their partner showed enough validation. Both of these are unacceptable behaviors, such as throwing around suspicion in order to get started.
2. Make him feel heard.
Making each other feel heard is very important in a relationship.
Active listening can be difficult when you are distracted by other thoughts, anxiously waiting to join the conversation with your own ideas, or overly excited about your turn to speak. there is. This type of interruption comes from passion, not malice, but when your passion outweighs your partner’s desire to be heard, they may feel that you’re undermining them in your relationship. You start to feel like you don’t care.
If your partner is telling you how miserable his day at work was or how painful it is that you don’t do your share of the housework, listen to him. All of it. Instead of trying to think of advice or responses, learn to switch your opinion and focus on all aspects of what he’s saying.
3. Love him for who he is, not for what he could be.
Women often date men for their potential, not for their current form.
You’ve probably heard at least one friend, or perhaps yourself, say something like this:
- “He’s not very ambitious at the moment, but he has a very kind side. I think in a few years he’ll be a great father.”
- “He’s a bit of a playboy, but I know he’ll be a great husband someday.”
- “He’s not doing very well right now, but I’m helping him see how good he can be one day.”
That has to stop. Don’t date someone at some point because of what they are or aren’t, what they will or won’t do.
Everyone wants and deserves to be loved for who they are, but in the end, all that remains is disappointment and resentment.
Iona Yeung is a dating and relationship coach who works with single women to identify dating obstacles, attract good men, and communicate from a space of love and clarity.